I dont like it. Theres no plot and the protaginist dies, and if you didnt notice, there are alot of run on sentences. Put in your commas in periods, make the protagisnist live and somehow find a way to kill the beast, post it in the WRITING forum, then you got a story :).
it is a horrer story and it tells u what happen later on in the book i'm working on the book still. i just made that up relly fast ok and he in not the mane character and it is a ghost.
SqueezyLemon
I dont like it. Theres no plot and the protaginist dies, and if you didnt notice, there are alot of run on sentences. Put in your commas in periods, make the protagisnist live and somehow find a way to kill the beast, post it in the WRITING forum, then you got a story :).
Ambu101
it is a horrer story and it tells u what happen later on in the book i'm working on the book still. i just made that up relly fast ok and he in not the mane character and it is a ghost.